don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
