Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
