He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
