considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
