You work out of a Hotel?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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