you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
