we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
