Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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