Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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