Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
