no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
operation harelip BJ is a go
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
