i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
