we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
