Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
