i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
