I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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