My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
