I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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