she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
