Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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