I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
