at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
