I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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