I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
