This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Be still, my beating vagina.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
