i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
