you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
