I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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