Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
