It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
