I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
