I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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