If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
