im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
