i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
