The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
