He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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