i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
