You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
