My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
