i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can I color on your dick again?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
