FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
