I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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