i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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