I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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