And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
