I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
