So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
