I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
