Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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