these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
