Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
