At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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