I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
